How to be more charismatic is a question most of us will ask if we’re in many social interactions. Today, you’ll be checking off items to help you understand what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong.
Let’s cook up a scenario: you’re at a party. It could be a work-related or closed event, and there are people everywhere. You don’t feel like you stand out. At this point, no one stands out. Although this is not a bad thing, there’s something inside you that wishes you gave off a more fascinating and charming aura.
Now you can’t seem to pinpoint what you want. It’s not the way you or anyone else looks. It’s something much more internal and personal than that. Is there something that represents what you’re looking for? What could it be? The thing you’re looking for might very well be charisma.
Giving off an air of charisma is not just an external thing. It comes from within, and we all have what it takes! All we have to do is activate and enkindle it. Today, we will be looking into things that a person can do to be more charismatic and magnetic.
It’s in everyone’s best interest to become as charismatic as they can be. Before we get into what to do and what not to do, here are some reasons why being charismatic is beneficial for anyone:
- Charismatic people naturally exude a friendly and likable vibe that draws people, whether you know them or not.
- They are better leaders because they understand the position of those working under them.
- People with charisma are more likely to get a job as compared to someone who does not have charisma.
- These people can inspire others to become better versions of themselves and act correctly.
- Due to their likability, charismatic people receive loyalty, trust, and respect, very soon into any kind of relationship.
All in all, a charismatic person is more likely to be successful in life. This does not mean people without charisma have no scope of success. It only means you will have a better chance of prospering or thriving in anything you do.
So now, let’s get into what you can do to become more charismatic!
What you should be doing to become charismatic
As briefly mentioned earlier, being charismatic is an internal thing that manifests itself outwardly. Here are some things that you can do and practice to obtain the charisma that we all long for:
- Be observant and pay attention
No matter where you’re or what you’re doing, many things are happening around you. Someone might be talking to you; another person might be working on a task; you might be thinking about what project to start next, and so on. You should try your best to observe what is happening so that you can respond correctly.
Now we don’t expect you to notice and pay detailed attention to everything. However, always keep an open mind and be aware of the immediate and significant things occurring in your environment. This will help you take in relevant information for the next point.
- Be empathetic
One of the essential traits that a charismatic person has is empathy. This characteristic is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Observing a person’s behavior and actions will help you get an idea about how he or she feels. Pay attention to what the person you’re talking to is saying.
Let them know that you care about their interests and what they are saying to you. You can do this by maintaining eye contact and nodding or reacting appropriately. This action might seem very simple and insignificant, but it does wonders for making a person feel important and that they matter to you.
- Listen with your ears and heart
Everyone can pretend like they are listening to someone when they have their minds on something completely unrelated. A charismatic person does not do this. You should try to listen to whoever is speaking intending to respond after they are done correctly. It’s easy to spot a person who is really listening and who is not.
Listening to a person with your heart and not just your ears shows through your body language automatically. It allows you to observe, be present, and empathetic at the same time. This point will surely help you make the other person feel valued.
- Collect your thoughts before speaking
Paying attention and listening to those around you will mean nothing if you reply with something out of line. Even if you disagree with someone’s statements, don’t lash back at them. Try to process your thoughts before uttering them. Choose the things you need to say instead of saying whatever comes to your mind.
- Create a comfortable environment
You should create a comfortable environment, not only for the person or people you’re talking to but also for yourself. If you feel even slightly uncomfortable, it becomes very obvious and apparent to other people. And this, in turn, will make them uncomfortable too. You will find yourself in a situation where everyone feels alien and uneasy with each other.
The first thing to do is to build a physically comfortable environment for yourself. You don’t have to force yourself into situations where you feel like you have no control. With help from your observance and listening skills, you can create a similar friendly environment for those around you.
- Be confident in yourself
As the saying goes, confidence is key. There are times when you feel like you’re not worthy or important and lose faith in yourself and your skills. But always remember that being confident is crucial if you want to be charismatic. A timid person will never do well in any social situation.
Even if you feel uncomfortable, know what you’re worth and brim with confidence for everyone. Make it a habit to carry yourself with self-assurance concerning what you say and do. These actions will portray a level-headed and poised image to others.
- Always have a positive mindset
Nobody likes a “glass is half empty” type of person. Instead of focussing on negative things, always try to abide by the advice that tells you to make lemonade with the lemons that life hands you. Yes, it will not always be rainbows and sunshine. But learn to see how you can change a bad day into a good one.
Having a positive outlook will have a positive effect on those around you, no matter what happens. Happiness and being optimistic is contagious. A dull and gloomy room will glow with good cheer and confidence if you emphasize good things.
- Ask people questions
Asking people questions about their interests and the topic you’re talking about will show that you’re invested in the conversation. It makes a person feel like you want to know more about them. Any real interest or positive attention that a person gets will build their confidence too. A charismatic person makes people feel good about themselves.
- Look presentable and friendly
Charisma is not about how a person dresses or looks. However, looking presentable will not hurt your chances of being seen as a charismatic person. After all, we would not see someone who ignores personal hygiene as a charming person. Smile more often. It will not hurt your chances of coming off as friendly.
You don’t have to wear the best clothes or be the belle of the ball. But the least you should do is brush your hair and take a shower whenever necessary. It’s better to be on the safe side and look welcoming than not.
- Add some jokes here and there
If the situation calls for it, try to put in some jokes into what you say. You don’t have to force yourself to be funny. But having a sense of humor will help you look friendly and welcoming. Making others laugh is a gift in itself. You feel good, they feel good, everyone feels good!
Remember that not all conversations require a dash of humor, though. You don’t want to be making jokes when everyone else is having a serious talk.
What you should not be doing
There are some things you should try to avoid or completely stop doing if it’s “charisma” that you want. Being charming and giving off an aura of influence is not an easy thing to achieve. However, there are a few pointers that you can keep in mind so that the charismatic person in your lives to its fullest potential:
- Don’t paint a fake version of yourself
Low self-confidence is the main reason why people tend to create a fake persona. This approach never works in the long run. Even if you successfully trick others into liking an artificial personality, it’s impossible to keep up this persona forever. In the end, this flawed strategy will blow up in your face.
Always be yourself, and don’t try to change just to please others. Yes, sometimes you need to change for the better to be more pleasant. But it does not mean you should fake it. If you’re confident enough, you will give off a positive energy that attracts people without needing to pretend.
- Don’t be forgetful
Try not to forget what people tell you. As mentioned earlier, listen and pay attention to what a person is telling you. If you remember little details about a person, they will find you more likable instantly. You don’t have to remember everything. Just hold on to as many particulars about a person as you can.
If you forget their names, for example, all your hard work will go down the drain. “I am very forgetful” is not an excuse anymore. Practice listening until you get it right. It’s not easy to take in information and keep it locked up, but it’s not impossible.
- Don’t be easily distracted
It’s rude and insulting for someone to look at their phones or get distracted by something when you talk to them. This fact applies to you too. Even if a million things are happening around you that you think needs your attention, try not to get distracted. The person you’re talking to will appreciate your effort.
- Avoid being self-centered
Being self-absorbed and self-centered are two very repulsive traits that we all should try to avoid regardless of whether we want to be more charismatic or not. Remember that you’re not the center of the universe. There are people around you too. Learn to shine the spotlight on people around you.
You want to be paying attention to other people, not trying to grab everyone else’s attention. If you can nail all the tips given above, you will catch people’s eyes without explicitly asking for it. Praising people for their achievements is an excellent way of shining the spotlight on them.
- Don’t settle for an insufferable attitude
Being a straight-up irritating person is something no one likes. Even if the situation forces you to react badly, try to have an upbeat attitude about it. This ties with having a positive mindset. Being a know-it-all and having an over-confident attitude is also unlikable. Your attitude is something you can choose, so make sure that you pick the right one.
In the end, we should know that charisma is not something that everyone gets handed on a silver platter. Some are born with it, while others need to work a little harder to achieve it. However, it’s not an impossible feat. Everyone can adopt minor habits that will make them more charismatic!
Being charismatic is not something that you can touch. It’s not tangible. But it’s something you can see and feel. It’s not difficult to point out a charismatic person from a crowd because it’s quite visible in an indirect sense. Have confidence in yourself. Keep practicing the things you should do until you perfect it.
You do have what it takes, and we believe in you! Now go out there and seize the day!